Ridiculous: Darius Miles is Still Playing Basketball in the NBA

If you are a Blazer fan, April 14, 2008 was a rather good day.  It was the day Darius Miles was ruled as having a career ending injury.  

Now that sounds pretty harsh, I know.  But I’m sure as a person Darius Miles isn’t too much of a horrible person, and I’m not wishing harm or misfortune on another human being.  But as a basketball player, and especially a basketball player for the Portland Trailblazers, he just was not getting the job done.  In any way, shape or form.  At all.

So when the defending NBA champion Boston Celtics actually signed Darius “Did you not hear that my knee injury was called career ending?” Miles, I think the word ‘surprised’ would be an understatement.  Right from the start, the signing of Miles just smelled somewhat dirty.  There is no evidence of this, but also no real way to explain the move logically.  Exactly what kind of dirty hippie crap is Danny Ainge trying to pull?  John Canzano’s also thinks it all smells a little fishy:

Boston doesn’t need the help, obviously. Or the headache. So this one feels strange. Miles doesn’t have proof of performance. He’s a distraction. And there’s something about all of this that feels suspect. The NBA is a strange, incestuous league, and the tentacles of this thing might very well run deep.

Could Boston be angling for a free agent handled by Miles agent? Could another Western Conference team be encouraging Ainge to make this happen to keep the Blazers down? Or is this just Ainge taking a low-risk proposition into camp and wanting to see if Miles can still play?

We may never know what the hell Ainge is thinking.  Obviously, we will get to watch this one unfold during the season.  But this is a low blow, Danny.  Real cold.  As a Portland Trailblazer, Darius Miles put forth a real effort in all of ONE game.  An April 19, 2005 game loss to the Nuggets, where he scored 47 points and looked almost amazing.  We’ll gladly give Darius $1 million bucks for that one, but the other $47 mill (of his ridiculous-ass contract we gave him) he has straight up STOLEN from the team. 

Now, due to the “genuis” of Danny Ainge (“genuis” translated: lots and lots of money to buy their NBA championship), Miles is going to cost the Blazers even on his way out.  More from Canzano:

He’s in control of about $10 million in cap flexibility, and an insurance company has paid a portion of Miles salary over the last couple of seasons. The Blazers would also have to pick up the tab for the money the insurance company paid on his “career-ending injury” should he be able to play 10 games next season for any NBA team.

Besides all the money stuff, I sort of find all this comical.  I actually hope that Darius makes the team, plays like crap, and steals another couple million from the Celtics on his way out of the league.  Because you know he is going to.  Danny Ainge is an idiot, there is no questioning this.  I mean look at what he said about Miles after his work out: “Darius has been in twice for workouts with us and has impressed us with his progress, health, and attitude…”

Hahahahahahahahahaha.  You’ve been fooled already Danny Boy!  His attitude impressed you??  Geez, you’re a loser.  But the funniest quote in the entire press release was the one by Darius himself.

“I’ve watched the Boston Celtics play a lot last year and loved what I saw in their teamwork and chemistry on the court and it’s the team that I want to try to resume my career with.” said Miles. “I am excited about having an opportunity to play on a team that I feel my personality fits with and a team that can have great success on the court.”

At least Miles knows how to sound like he’s going to be a team player.  Good luck Boston.  Alert all of your shadiest strip clubs that he’s on his wa–wait Miles probably already has.  And get ready for some more of this.  

This last classic exchange is all you need to know about Darius Miles and his “personality” and the probability of it fitting with the Celtics.  From an interview transcript with Jason Quick, beat writer for the Blazers.

Miles: All right. So, everything it just don’t add up. Every team I was on, and you ask every coach I’ve had, and I’ve had like seven coaches in my career, ain’t none of them have any problems. Haven’t heard nothing about me, no negative energy from the Clippers to Cleveland, and the half season (here).

Look at this season: I’m your franchise player, what is a Darius Miles bobble head like? Didn’t have one. And every time they had those little things with players talking on big screen, you aint never see me saying nothing on that do you?

Quick: Why?

Miles: Your guess is as good as mine. 

Quick: Does that bug you?

Miles: It’s like you are telling me I’m this franchise player, but hey once I noticed it, and I was like dang, I don’t have no bobble head? They tried to get me one at the last minute, and I was like, No, I’m fine. But I don’t want to sound like I’m whining.

But this is what you all are telling me. You mean to tell me, if they have a Steve Nash, a Raja Bell, Amare Stoudemire, and a Boris Diaw bobblehead, they wouldn’t have a Shawn Marion? But I don’t want this whole interview to sound like I’m whining

Of all the reasons in the world to be pissed off at the team you play basketball for?  Because they never made you into a bobblehead, Darius?  A freaking BOBBLEHEAD??  I think I have officially seen it all.

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4 Responses

  1. Darius Miles is the greatest

  2. […] side of Dr Evil  NESW Sports    Do not call Kevin Garnett 7 foot tall Drew and Corey      Darius Miles is still playing basketball in the NBA Home Team Sports   All American dream charity classic Parquet Pride   Quite possibly the coolest […]

  3. C’mon man. If there were no cap considerations for your team, you’d be wishing the guy good luck.

    If he is physically unable to play, he won’t play those 10 games and you’ve got nothing to worry about. If someone just said he can’t play but its really more like all the stuff you said which in my mind means “he’s not worth the money we signed him for and we want to get out of it somehow”, then that’s just not fair.

    In Boston, we’ve still got Vin Baker on the books and he showed up to practices drunk. That’s what guaranteed contracts are all about. Mistakes can be costly.

    Ainge is a smart guy and its not like the Celtics have the highest payroll in the NBA (what about New York, Dallas etc). Signing Miles for the vet minimum when he can be cut at any time doesn’t sound that stupid to me.

  4. This article sounds like a pretty sour Blazers fan.

    First the Celtics did not buy a championship. With trades that brought in Ray Ray and KG you have to match salaries in order to make them. They were barely if at all over the luxury tax and the next highest paid player after the big 3 was Perkins at around 4 mil a year. Hardly “buying” a championship.

    There is no way Miles will steal a couple million from the C’s. His contract is non guaranteed meaning Ainge can cut him at any time with minimal cost if he is not up to par.

    Many young loose cannons as they get older mature and get humbled through adversity. Whose to say that is not happening here???

    Stop whining the Blazers have a very bright future for themselves regardless if Miles contract comes back on the books or not.

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