Over The Weekend, I Was Accused of Being a Racist. At Least I Think I Was.

I say “I think” because I’m still not sure what the hell the guy was inferring about me and my pal Corey.  (If you’ve ever seen Curb Your Enthusiasm, that photo pretty much paints the same type of crazy situation that we had.)

It happened rather quickly and it wasn’t that big of a deal.  But it was just one of those moments where you wonder how dumb and unreasonable some people can be.  I post this mainly for the comedic value.

So Corey and I were sitting outside his house just catching up on Friday evening.  Just to set the scene, it was about 6 pm, clear sunny day, and we’re sitting smack dab in the middle of suburbia.  Kids playing in the streets and all that.  There isn’t a whole lot of traffic on these streets.  I mean there is, but it ain’t like it’s Main Street by any means.  Remembering that is key to how this all went down.

Corey looks up and sees about 3-4 cars, all in a row, coming down the street one right after the other.  A conversation similar to this ensued:

Corey: Look at all these cars.  It’s like a parade or something.

Me: Yeah, it’s like grand central.  I wonder where everyone is going.  Crazy.

Two important facts: 1) As Corey was talking, he raised his arm and pointed to the traffic of which he was speaking.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  He was just pointing.  2) The first car in the line of cars was an old beat up pickup, with three people sitting in it, and the windows were rolled down.  There was a dad, a mom, and their son in the truck.

After the cars passed, we went back to talking about sports, or girls or something like that.  Then, about two minutes later, we turn and see this same truck rolling on by again.  As they rolled by, they stopped in the middle of the street.  We were still talking to each other about chicks, with our backs turned to the people in the truck.  Here is what I can remember of what was said.

Driver: My son wants to know what you said about him.

Corey: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, huh?  What are you talking about?

Driver: Back there, when we drove by.  My son wants to know what you said about him.

Son (yelling from passenger seat): Yeah, what’d you say to me?

Me: Umm, we didn’t say anything about your kid, at all.

Corey: Yeah, we didn’t say anything about your son.  Why would we do that?

Driver: My son says you called him black.  Why’d you do that? (Important note: they were not black.)

Son (still yelling, and also getting real jumpy): Yeah, you called me black! Wanna go around the corner?

Driver: Yeah, do you wanna go around the corner?

Corey: Huh?  What?

Me: What?  Dude, we promise we didn’t say anything about your son.  

Driver: Okay, fine.

Son (yelling, as they drive away): (blah blah blah racist things blah blah blah) You wanna go around the corner, CRACKER?!?

Alllllllllllllrighty.  That was weird.  Pardon me while I go on a bit of a rant here.

Now I don’t know these people, nor do I hate them or anything like that.  But people cannot get any stupider than this.  I don’t need to defend the fact that I’m not a racist, that is not in doubt.  I am no racist.  In fact, I don’t even know exactly what race they even were!  They are just stupid people.  

For one, how does that kid, who couldn’t have been more than 15 or 16 have any chance of amounting to anything in his life??  With parents like his, he really doesn’t have a chance.  By turning their truck around and driving back to try to instigate a physical altercation, those parents were setting a GREAT example, let me tell you.

If we would have yelled a racial slur that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else, yes, I would understand turning a car around and asking us why we felt the need to yell something like that outloud.  That type of scenario is understandable.  But that is not even close to what happened here.

And lastly, I just want to say, that if Corey or I would have wanted to say something about those people and the color of their skin (which we neither one ever would do), doesn’t it make sense that we would have yelled it so that there wasn’t any doubt as to if they heard us or not??  If we were going to be the racists that that dude and his kid expected us to be, why would we whisper racial slurs to each other, rather than shout it out?  It just does not make any sense, people.

Anyway, it just boggles my mind how dumb people can be.  And I think it was pretty funny that Corey was called a cracker too!

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What a Horrible Fake Job

Ridiculous: Darius Miles is Still Playing Basketball in the NBA

If you are a Blazer fan, April 14, 2008 was a rather good day.  It was the day Darius Miles was ruled as having a career ending injury.  

Now that sounds pretty harsh, I know.  But I’m sure as a person Darius Miles isn’t too much of a horrible person, and I’m not wishing harm or misfortune on another human being.  But as a basketball player, and especially a basketball player for the Portland Trailblazers, he just was not getting the job done.  In any way, shape or form.  At all.

So when the defending NBA champion Boston Celtics actually signed Darius “Did you not hear that my knee injury was called career ending?” Miles, I think the word ‘surprised’ would be an understatement.  Right from the start, the signing of Miles just smelled somewhat dirty.  There is no evidence of this, but also no real way to explain the move logically.  Exactly what kind of dirty hippie crap is Danny Ainge trying to pull?  John Canzano’s also thinks it all smells a little fishy:

Boston doesn’t need the help, obviously. Or the headache. So this one feels strange. Miles doesn’t have proof of performance. He’s a distraction. And there’s something about all of this that feels suspect. The NBA is a strange, incestuous league, and the tentacles of this thing might very well run deep.

Could Boston be angling for a free agent handled by Miles agent? Could another Western Conference team be encouraging Ainge to make this happen to keep the Blazers down? Or is this just Ainge taking a low-risk proposition into camp and wanting to see if Miles can still play?

We may never know what the hell Ainge is thinking.  Obviously, we will get to watch this one unfold during the season.  But this is a low blow, Danny.  Real cold.  As a Portland Trailblazer, Darius Miles put forth a real effort in all of ONE game.  An April 19, 2005 game loss to the Nuggets, where he scored 47 points and looked almost amazing.  We’ll gladly give Darius $1 million bucks for that one, but the other $47 mill (of his ridiculous-ass contract we gave him) he has straight up STOLEN from the team. 

Now, due to the “genuis” of Danny Ainge (“genuis” translated: lots and lots of money to buy their NBA championship), Miles is going to cost the Blazers even on his way out.  More from Canzano:

He’s in control of about $10 million in cap flexibility, and an insurance company has paid a portion of Miles salary over the last couple of seasons. The Blazers would also have to pick up the tab for the money the insurance company paid on his “career-ending injury” should he be able to play 10 games next season for any NBA team.

Besides all the money stuff, I sort of find all this comical.  I actually hope that Darius makes the team, plays like crap, and steals another couple million from the Celtics on his way out of the league.  Because you know he is going to.  Danny Ainge is an idiot, there is no questioning this.  I mean look at what he said about Miles after his work out: “Darius has been in twice for workouts with us and has impressed us with his progress, health, and attitude…”

Hahahahahahahahahaha.  You’ve been fooled already Danny Boy!  His attitude impressed you??  Geez, you’re a loser.  But the funniest quote in the entire press release was the one by Darius himself.

“I’ve watched the Boston Celtics play a lot last year and loved what I saw in their teamwork and chemistry on the court and it’s the team that I want to try to resume my career with.” said Miles. “I am excited about having an opportunity to play on a team that I feel my personality fits with and a team that can have great success on the court.”

At least Miles knows how to sound like he’s going to be a team player.  Good luck Boston.  Alert all of your shadiest strip clubs that he’s on his wa–wait Miles probably already has.  And get ready for some more of this.  

This last classic exchange is all you need to know about Darius Miles and his “personality” and the probability of it fitting with the Celtics.  From an interview transcript with Jason Quick, beat writer for the Blazers.

Miles: All right. So, everything it just don’t add up. Every team I was on, and you ask every coach I’ve had, and I’ve had like seven coaches in my career, ain’t none of them have any problems. Haven’t heard nothing about me, no negative energy from the Clippers to Cleveland, and the half season (here).

Look at this season: I’m your franchise player, what is a Darius Miles bobble head like? Didn’t have one. And every time they had those little things with players talking on big screen, you aint never see me saying nothing on that do you?

Quick: Why?

Miles: Your guess is as good as mine. 

Quick: Does that bug you?

Miles: It’s like you are telling me I’m this franchise player, but hey once I noticed it, and I was like dang, I don’t have no bobble head? They tried to get me one at the last minute, and I was like, No, I’m fine. But I don’t want to sound like I’m whining.

But this is what you all are telling me. You mean to tell me, if they have a Steve Nash, a Raja Bell, Amare Stoudemire, and a Boris Diaw bobblehead, they wouldn’t have a Shawn Marion? But I don’t want this whole interview to sound like I’m whining

Of all the reasons in the world to be pissed off at the team you play basketball for?  Because they never made you into a bobblehead, Darius?  A freaking BOBBLEHEAD??  I think I have officially seen it all.